I'm Jordan. I'm a doer.

My essence: I've got good qualities and bad habits on rather extreme ends of the social spectrum. The good? I'm a learner. I've got a BA in vocal performance from Marian University, a school so small and so Catholic it makes you well rounded to say the least. My areas of specialty include Hugo Wolf's music, culinary art of pretty much the whole world, journalism, Astrology, acting, and contemporary choral music. I've been through a lot and learned a lot as well but had to make some big mistakes to gain this wisdom. Unfortunately right now I'm praying the price for a lot of those mistakes and I'm a person of limited means. I've got goals in life. Lady GaGa plans for world domination on a global scale- I plan for it on a personal scale. I want to travel the world sharing my music with others, and I'll always stay on the forefront of contemporary classical music. My immediate career goal is to direct a high school concert chorus that wins state competitions and possibly further. I insist upon a standard of excellence for myself and encourage the same for those who with/for me. I also want to clinician, travel and visit groups as a guest conductor. In short? I'm a maestro. :) I am a believer in astrology and I've studied it quite deeply. I have kind of convinced myself that it's a system God created to assign personalities to the people born every day, and it's a system we're not supposed to know about :)

The emotional Jordan?: I love God, my mother, and my grandmother most in the world. My family is very dear to me, I dream of them being happy and successful every day. I have a little brother who I try to help guide through life as he lacks a father I have a younger and older sister I love very much and have high expectations for because I know they're smart and beautiful. I'm mildly over-medicated, definitely a hypochondriac. I'm not the best listener, but I know a lot and love to make new friends. Friends, I have a few that have been around for ages and of course a ton of 'acquaintences.' It's hard to be my friend because I view every friendship as a relationship- a genuine concern for each other's well-being, a sincere give-and-take, and willingness to make sacrifices for one another. Essentially, I appreciate intense connections, and really despise 'fairweather friendships.' I'm not afraid to work, or admit when I'm wrong. The people I look up to include Hugo Wolf, because he wrote and spoke from the heart and for himself, regardless of other's opinions. He did what felt good... that's been an issue my whole life. Moses Hogan, Eric Whitacre, and Z. Randall Stroope are my favorite choral composers, they're effective and avant-garde. Two voice previous vocal coaches: Lexa, my sophomore and junior years, actually shaped the way I convey myself to the world, taught me to meditate, and taught me to focus. Nathan provided a great senior year by tolerating me through the most emotionally stormy year of my life also, by allowing me to sing what I connect to. He shaped the way I convey songs to the world, made me a real performer. College was hard for me because I'm stubborn and don't want to practice things I don't love... but I think doing that so much in college will prepare me for most of what life will throw my way.

I am gay and get a little more so every day :)... but I'm still a man. I don't care to embody females, or watch anyone else do that... but I'm not judging. I'm not sure how I feel about myself being gay and a Christian, but I know that men and God are two things I love, and I don't think you should ever fight your heart. If someone could convince me otherwise, I'm open to letting you try... but I don't see either of these things changing. I've got real, deep faith. I love people to do what makes them happy and I accept the fact these things are different with every person. I kind of wish drugs, legal or illegal, didn't exist, because they're a weakness of mine. I am able to adapt to situations naturally but when I know there's a drug that will do a lot of the work for me, I kind of have to have it. People I respect have encouraged a "mind over matter" mindset that I've got to learn to embrace. Medical professionals have diagnosed me ADD, MDD, and GAD they've suggested bipolar and I've even heard the word schizophrenic more than once. That being said, I don't believe I have any mental disorders. The way I would genuinely describe my mental condition goes like this: Gay. Black. Genius. Lazy. Overactive mind, underactive body. Too focused on food, too focused on boys, too focused on how I feel in the moment. I've been through many adverse situations but I know God made me especially strong- with an ability to rebound- so that I can overcome these situations and become something amazing.

Myself as a lover?: Another difficult, complex area. :) I've only actually been in love once and that was wild... it felt great to be loved. But I'm never satisfied with myself or others and that made it hard. I've learned I'll have to find someone a lot like me for a relationship to work... not someone that I can expect to change. That's not fair. I tend to go for guys who aren't quite gay or guys that need help, because those are both qualities I can complement well. I've learned not to look for love because that just leaves you disappointed... especially when you're black in Indiana, haha.